Let’s face it, online meetings and virtual coffee dates have a limit. The screen pretty much eliminates the meeting of a fundamental human need, physical touch. We all learned during COVID that while technology connects us in ways unimaginable just a few decades ago, it cannot replace the physiological and emotional benefits of direct human contact. During that time, we all learned the hard way that from a simple hug to holding hands, touch plays a vital role in our overall well-being. What happens when we don’t get enough skinship?
What is Skinship?
The term skinship actually originated in Japan and South Korea as early as the 1950s. It was used to describe close physical bonding, particularly between parents and children. However, over time, the term has evolved to encompass all forms of affectionate, non-sexual touch between humans. Today it can mean anything from friendly hugs to a reassuring pat on the back. It’s any intimate connection that fosters trust, emotional security, and deeper relationships.
The Science
The sense of touch is one of the first we develop in the womb. It remains crucial to our development and well-being throughout our lives. Regardless of our age, when we experience physical touch, our bodies release oxytocin, often referred to as the “love hormone.” This hormone enhances bonding, reduces stress, and promotes feelings of security. Touch also triggers the release of serotonin and dopamine which are neurotransmitters responsible for happiness and relaxation.
Health Benefits
The benefits of skinship are more than just emotional comfort. A regular dose of positive touch can:
- Reduce Stress and Anxiety – Touch lowers cortisol levels, the hormone associated with stress, helping us feel calmer and more at ease.
- Boost Immunity – Physical contact has been linked to improved immune system function, making us more resilient to illnesses.
- Lower Blood Pressure – Regular affectionate touch has been shown to reduce blood pressure, which lowers the risk of heart disease.
- Improve Mental Health – People who experience more physical touch report lower levels of depression and anxiety.
- Enhance Social Bonding – Touch strengthens relationships by fostering trust and emotional intimacy.
The Consequences of Not Getting Any
The absence of physical touch—often referred to as touch starvation or skin hunger is a legitimate problem. Going without for too long can have serious psychological and physiological consequences. People who experience prolonged periods without touch may suffer from:
- Increased Stress and Anxiety – Without the calming effects of touch, stress hormones remain elevated.
- Weakened Immune System – A lack of touch has been linked to higher susceptibility to illness.
- Feelings of Loneliness and Depression – Touch deprivation can lead to emotional isolation, which is a significant contributor to mental health struggles.
- Disrupted Sleep Patterns – Touch helps regulate our nervous system, and without it, sleep quality can deteriorate.
Having More Skinship
Even with all the screens and “personal space” in our lives, it’s possible to add more physical touch in daily life.
- Hug more often. Even a simple hug lasting at least 20 seconds triggers oxytocin release and promotes relaxation.
- Hold hands. Whether with a partner, child, or friend, holding hands fosters connection and reduces stress.
- Massage. Regular massages provide not only relaxation but also the essential benefits of touch.
- Adopt a pet. If human touch is scarce, spending time petting a dog or cat can have similar calming effects.
- Make the first move. Be the first one to offer those reassuring pats, handshakes, or shoulder squeezes. Take charge!
Reach Out
Skinship might be a relatively new phrase, but it underlies a truth as old as time: physical touch is essential for human health and happiness. Whether through a warm embrace, a reassuring hand on the shoulder, or simply sitting close to a loved one, touch has the power to heal, comfort, and connect. With touch deprivation becoming increasingly common, prioritizing skinship can be one of the simplest yet most powerful ways to enhance everyone’s well-being.
So, when was the last time you reached out—literally?
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